After obsessing over the bedazzling outfits at this year’s Met Gala, I couldn’t help but explore India’s fashion landscape, and it’s even more ostentatious. I know it’s hard to keep up with ever-changing trends in fashion, but I’ve got you covered with this quick guide to the world of Indian hate couture. Desi fashion has long been influenced by our vibrant and diverse culture, and the first thing you need to know is that most forms of religious bigotry are definitely à la mode.
In case you missed it, lynching Muslims over cows and beef are definitely last season. Everyone’s completely over actual video evidence of violent murders. This year’s hate summer collection has showcased some truly groundbreaking styles for us to learn from. For e.g., at the Gurgaon fashion week, a handful of strapping young men walked the ramp to the electrifying chants of ‘Jai Shree Ram!” and scared away a group of Muslim men who had gathered for namaz. The state’s Chief Minister commented that namaz prayers should be offered only in mosques, reviving the antique style statement that the right to practising your religion freely is passé but double standards are not.
Dress for the job you want but don’t forget that fashion is also a lifestyle. People will take you seriously only if you complete your look by defending powerful rapist men (and all violent men) and spewing venom against members of other religious communities. For younger aspirants, my advice is to start early by indulging in some vintage vigilantism and beating couples up. My dudes, you can stay original with a simple angry Hanuman. Put it everywhere — T-shirts, your car, your display picture on social media platforms etc., and ensure everyone knows that you are Hindu, and angry. Ladies, while anyone can be spotted wearing a Yogi or a Sadhvi Prachi, not everyone can live the life of a fascist fashionista. The combination of communalism, toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny is eternal chic.
If you prefer to perform your bigotry in a more subtle form or if you’re a broke college student, I’ve got a real treat for you! Unfurl your passion for religious intolerance with these DIY tips, which you can customize according to the religious minority you wanna hate on. Of course, it would help if you’re enrolled in a minority institution because that can make your efforts truly eye-popping.
If you feel like the boundaries of constitutional freedoms or penal laws are holding you back, repeat to yourself “ek dhakka aur do”. Seek inspiration from the classic 1992 Babri Fall collection, buy a can of spray paint and tell everyone (but mainly minorities) that mandir wahin banayenge. Lack access to a minority institution or paint? Just take a fistful of ash and aim for the nearest pastor’s mug for a rebellious ‘in your face’ version. You can also gather a gather your co-fashionable posse and beat up students of a minority institution, in the name of nationalism. Violent nationalism paired with religious hatred is white shirt with blue jeans, a definite classic. If ABVP and Hindu Yuva Vahini can pull it off, you can too!
For the outdoorsy folks out there, the shakha khaki shorts are the pinnacle of athleisure. Once deemed cringe-worthy, the RSS chaddi has come back with a bang. These swadeshi, all weather bottoms, have a sinister past (Nazi) but it’s 2018, and history is, well…, history. The most-successful adorners of these chaddis have attained significant political and financial prosperity while the least successful wearers have seen at least their morning exercise routine sorted. Our trend predictors anticipate that there will be a steady growth of these wrinkles in India’s secular fabric, especially because they come at an extremely affordable cost for about 80% of the country’s population. We have nothing to lose.
Mitali Agrawal is an education researcher in a Delhi based think tank and tweets at @just_screams.