The rise in the number of working women across economic sections of society seems to have made a lot of women expert jugglers. Today, for most women in India, whether they have a full day of work or not, they have to come home and manage the house too. All this, while their husbands relax. It appears that no matter how much a woman earns or provides to the household, housework will still be her responsibility and the television her husband’s.
Perhaps to help women cope better with life after marriage, another university has started a “how to be a good bahu” course. The Barkatullah University will be providing a three-month course from the next academic year to help women become “Adarsh bahus”. This is not an entirely new idea. A few months ago, a start-up called Vanita Institute of Fashion and Designs introduced a course on “How to be an ideal daughter in-law”. The people behind these courses are of the opinion that these are a step forward in women’s empowerment.
There is of course, some merit to this. In some contexts, learning how to juggle home and work could be empowering because after all, the new bride will be ‘allowed’ to work. The curriculum will be clear once the course starts but until then, it is not too much of a leap to assume that it will cover “seva” of the husband and in-laws along with tips on how to be more efficient with the housework. Presumably so that the poor bahu can have a few minutes to herself before she goes to bed for 4 hours a night.
Perhaps the problem arises because housework, being a woman’s ‘duty’, is not considered work. Whether it is picking up after children, cooking or supervising it or even attending to in-laws, these responsibility seem to be linked to women. Even the “good” husbands who help around the house seem to think they have done a favour to their wives. This is fairly strange because the husband lives in the same house and the children are his too. Any work he does around the house should, in fact, be as much for himself as for her. This should work the other way too, but for some reason, a woman can do everything but it is never considered anything other than her job. And unlike most other jobs, it is usually thankless.
As the idea of women’s empowerment spreads across India, it is important that the right message gets through – that men begin doing more around the house. While it might take more time for this concept to be accepted, this change is necessary. The only thing a woman should have to learn about being a good bahu, is that she should choose her partner.